life sucks?

i got to thinking.

isn't it just easier to say "life sucks" when stuff is going bad, rather than to recognize that it could be a consequence from our previous actions?

and idk. care to disagree.. its just something i've been thinking about.

so there. a deep theological thought.. sorta.

nope, didn't die in canada.

hi! still here.

got back from canada. i can't EVEN explain that trip, it was by far one of the best things thats ever happened to me, and most definately the best week of my life.

but i'll talk more about that later.

i'm still alive, still breathing, but barely.

it hurts.

alot.

&when you think you can't take it anymore, thats when best friends come in handy.

so yaaaaaay! for amy elizabeth speight! i love you baby girl (:

pack too much?

allllrighteyyyy! getting ready. SO. EXCITED.

OMG!!! but i'm really gonna miss my friends :( oh well, i plan on making more (:

so yeah.. more later. gotta get back to packing :D

xoxo ; jo

&just live

getting readyyyy!

phewwww. so we had our 'pre-trip' dinner & party tonight. i'm just, SO excited about it, i don't know what to do! I'm so excited to meet the people. to be in canada (: to see the stuff, and most importantly, see what God has instore for me. i've been praying alot lately that God will mold me into what i need to be. if i need to be more outgoing, or if i need to be more shy. i just want to be what He wants me to be. &, just, yeah. im so excited.

tomorrow we're going to start packing. &getting stuff together & ready & yeahhhh.

so please continue to pray for myself and our team as we get ready to go and serve God :D i'm just so excited &thankful that i'm able to go and do this... ahhhhhhh :D

& i've also fallin in love with matchbox 20 todayyy, thxx to sheena (: & 3am, which i just heard for the first time this week, and yeahhhhh. amazinggggg.

&eli mattson. from AGT, last year. just, AMAZING. so amazing. even tho sheena doesn't love him as much as i do, i still wub him alot <33

&yeah. i guess thats all for now (:

xoxo ; jo

&LiVE

wedding songs!

alrightey y'all.

sheena's doing this too, so make sure you see her blog.

so we're doing our wedding songs! YAY!

now, i'll prolly edit this ALOT cause i'll remember more, but for now, these are the ones.

i'll be ; edwin mccain
truly madly deeply ; savage garden
a moment like this ; kc
collide ; howie day [okay, not really. but i LOVE this song]

okay. this list SUCKS so far.

i'll just edit more. & i will. SO KEEP WATCHING! i'll put a * each time i edit, haha

aunt audrey

hey guys.. we just got this email about my great-aunt.


"Hospice has been called in for Mama. She has indicated that she is tired and is ready to go.
She is still on a trach, kidneys aren't working , her blood pressure is 86\42, she is bleeding internally and she is exhausted. She is at peace with her decision and we meet with the hospice team here at NHRM at 1pm today. They plan to move her from ICU to the 3rd floor Hospice.
Her surgeon said if they skip dialysis, she would have just a few days.
She has fought a tough fight and we all agree to honor her wishes.
Just wanted to let you know."

please keep our family in your prayers as we brace another death.

xoxo

&laugh

we could keep things just the same...

so, today has kinda been wierd. i had a dream last night about my grandma. like, she was still alive. [well DUH] and all the 'drama' in our neighborhood was still going on, and she was fesisty like she used to be. anddd idk, it was just, normal. like she was talking about what she wanted to do &all. idk. i don't remember it all, just little parts. but i woke up, and immediately realized what i dreamed & what reality was. &then i was sad. :( but, i got to talk to danielle for a few minutes & that helped. [i love ya chic]

& THEEEEN we went to overtons to get a new ski binding for mom's ski. and then i got depressed that i can't ski. [well i can. i mean heck, im really good at it. its just, with my knee &all, and it hurts it SO bad and i'm afraid i'll REALLY mess it up if i keep doing it.] espicially considering MY custom sloam ski is sitting above the boat, just collecting dust. grrrr.

but then, when we got home, and somewhere in between talking to rachel and sheena, i kinda realized something. not like, "ding ding ding, IDEAAA!" just, idk, i just realized something. that once i get to heaven, i'll get to meet my grandpa. & grandpa pulley. &i'll get to see my great-grandma again, who i don't remember all that well. and my grandma godwin, and grandma. & mr. gearld, and miss julia. and alex. and mr. jeffrey. and everybody else that i've lost. &i know of ALL the things i get to look foward to do once i die or Jesus comes, that seeing them really shoulnd't be at the top of my list, but it is. i'm just really excited that i get to see them again, possibly soon, possibly another 80 more years. but just the fact that i'll get to MEET the people i never got to meet, really excites me. and idk, it just, made me smile.

&yeah. that and my friends are SMAZING [super + amazing = smazing] andddddd i LOVED that i got to talk to sheena today, &annie, &ELEVATORS! hollly crap. i love you guyssss (:

&i guess i should enclude a song. i flove this song. MOSTLY b/c sheena wrote a BALLIN OS off of it, and KC mentioned it in her twitter, and i fell in love with it again. i mean seriously,

Yeah We Both Got Dreams
We Could Chase Alone
Or We Could Make Our Own

that's just redic. i LOVE jennifer nettles, seriously. so yeah.

here it issss (: enjoy.



xoxo, jo

&laugh