complex

i do. i really really do.

and i give myself a complex.

for example.

if i don't talk to somebody for a few days, i freak out, and think they're superly pissed at me or something. so then, i replay EVERYTHING we've said within the past few days trying to analyze what i did to tick them off, or make them mad at me.

or, if somebody posts a tweet or blog or status update about somebody annoying them, or being selfish, or being a *itch, i like, freak out and think its about me and then beat myself over a thousand times.

then, i finally get to talk to that person, and they're not mad at me. they've just been REALLY busy. & i havne't screwed up this amazing relationship i have with that person.

talk about being relieved.

and i can finally breathe again.

like, the world is no longer on my shoulders. it feels SO good. even tho i've prolly added a few gray hairs from FREAKING out so much, but yeah.

its one of my many quirks. =)

I can make playlists, too!

so gosh, it seemed like EVERYBODY was making new playlists today! sheena, KC, callie, everybody.. SO, i made one too! this one is really.. random. as always. so, i hope you enjoy! so far, i'm REALY liking it :)

it left some off, so here are the ones at the bottom;

-how to save a life; the fray

-100 years; Five for Fighting

-I don't want to wait; Paula Cole

-Babylon; David Gray

-Stolen; Dashboard Confessional

-Smile; Uncle Cracker

so yeah, super cheesey, haha, but thats OK. and yeah, i'm kinda addicted to SGAHFM, chuuuknowwwittttt Sheena!

enjoy :)

To whom it may concern..

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year old again. I want
to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to
think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to play dodgeball at recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a
big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you,
because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things
that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. Somewhere in our youth, we matured
and learned too much. There are nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, and abused children. Lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain, and death. A world where
companies poison our water and our soil, and children kill. What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we
didn't grasp the concept of death? When the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball. I
want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to return to the days when children played
hide-n-seek outside instead of being glued to a television, when video games were as harmless as Pac-Man...instead of spine-ripping, blood-splattering
mind numbers like Mortal Combat, and TV still had some shows on that weren't about sex, killing, and lies.

I remember being naive and thinking everyone was happy because I was. Afternoons were spent climbing trees and fences and riding my bike. I never
worried about time, bills, or where I was going to find the money to fix my car. I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not
worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out. I want to live simple again.

I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money
in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice,
peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So.... here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to
discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause, "Tag! You're it."

okay. i realize i'm only 17, and not an 'adult', but this made me smile, so yeah. enjoy!

agree?

maybe we expect more from others because we would be willing to do THAT much for them...

music & such..

So. Last night, I asked sheen for her workout playlist. So, she posted
it on her blog, and after I about killed myself from running, we
started talking. About music; not that that surprising, we talk alot
about music. But idk how, ibstarred talking about older country.
Theeeeen I got to thinking about how miss Peggy and mr. Gearld tought
me about music when I was little. And sherlin would come and we'd
dance around and stuff. And one of the earliest songs I can remember
is "you don't seem to miss me" by patty loveless and george jones. And
athe ripe ol age of 5, I didn't really know what it was about. But now
I get it... But anyway. I never really thought about it, but hey
tought me to love music. Everytime we'd get in the car, the radio
would come on, and that's when I fell on love with country.

And then Sheena and I started talking about genre's. And we decided
that there needs to be 2 genres. New country, and country. George
jones, patty lovless, george straight, Kenny chesney, Garth Brooks,
Vince gill, Martina mcbride, Tim McGraw, brad paisley, etc. Belong in
the country genre.

Taylor swift, Carrie underwood, keith urban, dierks bentley, billy
currington, Jason aldean, lady a. zac brown band, Kellie pickler,
Julianne hough, James Otto, would be in the other one.

Now don't get me wrong. I love both groups, just differently. The
first ones are the classics. THe legends. The people who made country
what it is. The new group is defining it. They get highschool girls
through the bad days. Give us something to look at :) ya know

So wow, that was kinda pointless. Ohh well. I'll always remember
patty& George singing, and falling in love with country music :)

Xoxo, jo

am i completely crazy? i think i'm completely crazy.

okay. so. the holiday is on. the movie.. its REALLY good. i love it. FLOVE jude law! actually, i'm not WATCHING it, moms watching it in the other room & i'm listening. and i'm in my room on Andrew, writing this. soo.. yeah. okay. anyway, on to why i think i'm abs. crazy.

i saw this movie last year, 3 days before christmas, with sherlon & miss peggy. sherlon & i had went out to eat at the cheesecake factory, got our make up done @ bobbi brown, and shopped. we started at like, 3pm, and got home at like, 10, and then watched the movie. i finally went to bed around 1:30, haha. SUCH an amazing day. and listening now, i declare i'm back in their living room, sipping french vanilla coffe, miss peggy ANNOYINGLY quoting everything they say, snuggle up on the couch with a blanket, and sherlon at the other end. and i want to BAWL. just weep like crazy. cry my eyes out. why? I HAVE NO FREAKING EARTHLY IDEA! gah! like, am i longing the sense of 'perfectness' that day? or just the simplicity. or just, everything was 'right' then, as far as personal drama.

OR, maybe its cause i love CHRISTMAS time SOOO much, i just, miss it. or i don't know.

but i'm practically crying just thinking about that day. i want to go back to that day. that day beasted. majorly. SO much.

&i'm like that about other days too. but that day REALLY sticks out right now.

i don't know. i know i'm probably really crazy, and i probably need a shrink, and i'm so so so so sorry.

is it THAT hard to have a backbone?

I am just SO, SO SO SO freaking sick and tired of people NOT having a backbone. not being able to stand up for what they believe in. for not being able to stay true to their word.

the last one REALLY gets under my skin. some kinda bad. it honestly makes me want to smack people. and its like, gah, its okay if we DISAGREE on stuff, just, don't agree with me cause its easier, then when the time comes, completely leave me standing alone.

it just seems like, now, its easier to just keep going back on your word & lying than to keep your word & stand by your beliefs.