Thursday, January 7, 2010
tumblr.
soo, i'm maybe not posting here as much as i'd like. just ... because. i'm using tumblr more. not saying i'm not going NEVER ever use this again, cause I am. obviously. i'm just saying you'll find me on tumblr more. so yes. http://itsjoyaknow.tumblr.com/ you'll find me thereeee :) & twitter as always. so yeah. haven't forgotten about ya, just, at other places right now :) so weee! hahaha. oh! i got a new aim; my old one spazzed. its livelovelope , so add it if we talk :)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
25!
1. All Hot Chocolate <3 is the love of my life. always has been, always will be. he's the one guy i can count on, to always be there for me, let me cry, let me yell, let me talk, whatever I need he'll be there & usually stand there & let me do whatever I want to him. He's taken me places I've never been, & because of him I met my best friend. to some people he's just a horse that I show, but to me, he's one of my best friends & knows my deepest secrets, & the only sure-fire-gurantee that can make me smile when all i wanna do is cry.
2. my best friends mean the WORLD to me. Amy & Danielle; i couldn't make it without them. they're there for me whenever, no matter what time it is, or what i need, i know they'll be there. they make me laugh, they give me a shoulder to cry on, & make my life so much more enjoyable :)
3. the 2000's changed me SO much. i could not be ANY more different from what i was on January 1st 2010, than what i was on January 1st 2000. I lost 4 INSANELY close people to me, mr. Gerald, Mrs. Julia, Grandma Godwin & Grandma Bailey. But I also found my 2 best friends for life. I went places I never thought i would go, I accomplished things i never thought was possible, & did things i never thought i could.
4. NCSU Wolfpack babyy<3 enough said. oh, and ABC. anyyyyybody but carolina! if you know me, then you've probably seen me go up to bat for my wolfpack hahaha.
5. One Tree Hill. i loved that show. season 1-6 were epic. & i've actually come to appreciate season 5. i know, i know, ya'll can pick yourselves up off the floor now. i would LOVE s5 if we could just take lindsay out. i can deal with the LP, infact i <3 the angsty LP at the end, but i hateeee lucas & lindsay. ANYWAY! that show, while being just a TV show, has allowed me to meet 3 of the most awesome people EVER. Maygen Lauren Gibbons, Annie Rose Plecki [ i think i got your name right?!] and Sheena Marie Casselman. i love you girls so much. & even tho i've never 'met' any of them, they're some of my best friends, i love them to death, & they know more about me than i think i do myself. they put up with my rediculous-ness, my craziness, & me.
6. my mommy. i love my mommy. to death. we may kinda disagree sometimes, but at the end of the day she's my biggest fan & my biggest supporter in whatever I do, & i love her with all my heart.
7. my daddy. my word i love my daddy. I don't care how old I'll get, I'll always be a daddy's little girl. my daddy means the world to me. I can honestly say I don't think that there has never been anything that i've wanted that he hasn't gotten, or tried his hardest to get for me. [except for a suite at the NCSU football games, but i was kidding on that one! hahaha] i absolutely ADORE doing things with him, and this past christmas eve, i cried when it was over because it was our last christmas eve tradition with me still in highschool. we're still gonna do it next year, but it'll be a tad bit different with me in college & everything.
8. My family. y'all, my family is absolutely CRAZY. but i love them with all of my heart & wouldn't have them any other way. i mean, who else is gonna teach me the dance he created for low? [jonathon] or who else is going to give me a hickey by hitting me with a nerf gun bullet? [jay] and have matching NCSU bags with me? [kam] & watch my daddy & uncles sit around and play with nerf guns like they're 15 again? i love y'all soo much, even if i never see you :-P
9. church! i love my church! its amazzzzing. I love doing stuff there & our pastor's are wonderful & just it makes me happy :) so come to forest hills! hahaha.
10. talking. there is a PRETTY good chance y'all figured this out by now. i love talking. i talk insanely fast. i just get so excited! hahaha & i talk extremely randomly. but it's okay.
11. andrew. my ipod. i love him :) he has all my essentials on him; music, videos of amy & i, danielle & i, mallory & i, parker & i. & pictures of everybody & everthing. & stuff to keep me entertained :)
12. squishy. miss mallory paige cobb named him! my new MacBook. he's prettttyyyyy sweet if i may say so myself :)
13. Darney! Danielle Taylor Plourd named him. my Nikon D5000 SLR cameraaaaa. he is pretty snazzy, & takes excellent picturessss! i can't wait to take pictures of horsey's & all with him :)
14. Kassi. Amy Elizabeth Speight named herrrr. she's my phone. & altho she kinda sucks sometimes, & is slightly retarded, she allows me to have 3-way phone calls with danielle & mallory, & talk to alllll my friends, & lets me call my mommy when i need stuff & my daddy when i miss him :)
15. football. now this is different from NCSU. i LOVE football. i do. i sound like a guy. i freaking love sunday afternoons watching tv with daddy & watching all the games. faves? san diego chargers of courseee! <3 highschool, college, pro, whatever. i LOVE football. & i'm glad that Hilary agree's with me hahaha :)
16. canada. I spent a week in canada this past summer & it honestly changed my life. the small group times with the people in our 'track', the people i met on site, the times with my church group, & the vault with Ria & sally & melody & anna & emily. everything. by far one of the BEST weeks of my life. God is so amazing, & he just continues to show me that he'll always be here for me & he'll never leave me & he'll get me through anything. to the people i met in canada; i'll never forget you, you impacted my life in such an amazing way, & i miss you & i hope i get to see you again :)
17. the beach! love the beach. i'm deff gonna have a beach house someday :) i mean, lets get this straight. the beach
18. beefay! aka mallory paige cobb. aka mallory gayle cobb. but we don't call her that, shh! its beefay or mpc :) anyway, we're kinda friends by pure fate. i really didn't want to meet her. she really didn't want to meet me. we had 1 thing in common [okay 2]; danielle. [&horses. we were at a horse show after all .. ] & so i was like, well, she's just gonna steal my time with danielle so screwww herrrr! then i met her & was like, oh, she's throwing m&m's at people, & said that my powdered sugar from my funnel cake was crack, & i had it on my pants so i was crack pants .. & i was like well then. she's not that bad ... & then, facebook. gotta love facebook. i'm serious; HAVE to LOVE it. it brought us togeffferrr! so thanks to facebook & then the classic & aim & skypeeee & turkey circuit, i haz a neww best fraaand! & hello. epic stuff from her. KAPEESH! & never say goodbye. ever. & i'm never letting you go. i mean, how amazing is that? its really amazing. superrrrly amazing pictures from her too! :D ahh. i love her. sooo much. & i miss her. a tonnnnn. & our wall - to - wall is EPICLY amazing. i'm serious. so, meet herrr! & become friends with her. but she'll always be MY beefay & i'll always be HER boo, js. i love you babess<3
19. yes, i'm 17 years old, & no, i still don't have texting. & guess what? i'm still alive! so it IS possible :) hahaha
20. i'm addicted to farmville. i am. i love it. its amazing. & i freak out when i realize i need to harvest my crops or else they'll wither & i'm not at home hahaha.
21. chocolate milkshakes. its kinda an inside joke, but i love chocolate milkshakes hahaha.
22. quotes! i love quotes. & lyrics. & bumper stickers. i have a quote for just about anything, & a song for just about every mood. lyrics/quotes are a biiiig part of my life.
23. quarterbacks. okay. i apparently have a thing for quarterbacks. but i don't care. they're soooo cute! squeal. i mean honestly, riley skinner, tim tebow, christian ponder, zach collaros [btw Danielle claimed him .. so yeah] sam bradford, & the best? philip rivers <3
24.twitter & tumblr & blogger. i'm kinda addicted to all of those & i know that nobody reads them or cares but it'll be fun to look back 20 years from now & see what i did hahaha.
25. madison. gotta mention her. i love her :) she's the best doggie EVER & i love her & she makes me laugh all the time & i love my sleeping buddy :)
this was a note on facebook, but some people [cough, sheena, cough cough] wouldn't see it, so i posted it here so they [she] could see too! :)
2. my best friends mean the WORLD to me. Amy & Danielle; i couldn't make it without them. they're there for me whenever, no matter what time it is, or what i need, i know they'll be there. they make me laugh, they give me a shoulder to cry on, & make my life so much more enjoyable :)
3. the 2000's changed me SO much. i could not be ANY more different from what i was on January 1st 2010, than what i was on January 1st 2000. I lost 4 INSANELY close people to me, mr. Gerald, Mrs. Julia, Grandma Godwin & Grandma Bailey. But I also found my 2 best friends for life. I went places I never thought i would go, I accomplished things i never thought was possible, & did things i never thought i could.
4. NCSU Wolfpack babyy<3 enough said. oh, and ABC. anyyyyybody but carolina! if you know me, then you've probably seen me go up to bat for my wolfpack hahaha.
5. One Tree Hill. i loved that show. season 1-6 were epic. & i've actually come to appreciate season 5. i know, i know, ya'll can pick yourselves up off the floor now. i would LOVE s5 if we could just take lindsay out. i can deal with the LP, infact i <3 the angsty LP at the end, but i hateeee lucas & lindsay. ANYWAY! that show, while being just a TV show, has allowed me to meet 3 of the most awesome people EVER. Maygen Lauren Gibbons, Annie Rose Plecki [ i think i got your name right?!] and Sheena Marie Casselman. i love you girls so much. & even tho i've never 'met' any of them, they're some of my best friends, i love them to death, & they know more about me than i think i do myself. they put up with my rediculous-ness, my craziness, & me.
6. my mommy. i love my mommy. to death. we may kinda disagree sometimes, but at the end of the day she's my biggest fan & my biggest supporter in whatever I do, & i love her with all my heart.
7. my daddy. my word i love my daddy. I don't care how old I'll get, I'll always be a daddy's little girl. my daddy means the world to me. I can honestly say I don't think that there has never been anything that i've wanted that he hasn't gotten, or tried his hardest to get for me. [except for a suite at the NCSU football games, but i was kidding on that one! hahaha] i absolutely ADORE doing things with him, and this past christmas eve, i cried when it was over because it was our last christmas eve tradition with me still in highschool. we're still gonna do it next year, but it'll be a tad bit different with me in college & everything.
8. My family. y'all, my family is absolutely CRAZY. but i love them with all of my heart & wouldn't have them any other way. i mean, who else is gonna teach me the dance he created for low? [jonathon] or who else is going to give me a hickey by hitting me with a nerf gun bullet? [jay] and have matching NCSU bags with me? [kam] & watch my daddy & uncles sit around and play with nerf guns like they're 15 again? i love y'all soo much, even if i never see you :-P
9. church! i love my church! its amazzzzing. I love doing stuff there & our pastor's are wonderful & just it makes me happy :) so come to forest hills! hahaha.
10. talking. there is a PRETTY good chance y'all figured this out by now. i love talking. i talk insanely fast. i just get so excited! hahaha & i talk extremely randomly. but it's okay.
11. andrew. my ipod. i love him :) he has all my essentials on him; music, videos of amy & i, danielle & i, mallory & i, parker & i. & pictures of everybody & everthing. & stuff to keep me entertained :)
12. squishy. miss mallory paige cobb named him! my new MacBook. he's prettttyyyyy sweet if i may say so myself :)
13. Darney! Danielle Taylor Plourd named him. my Nikon D5000 SLR cameraaaaa. he is pretty snazzy, & takes excellent picturessss! i can't wait to take pictures of horsey's & all with him :)
14. Kassi. Amy Elizabeth Speight named herrrr. she's my phone. & altho she kinda sucks sometimes, & is slightly retarded, she allows me to have 3-way phone calls with danielle & mallory, & talk to alllll my friends, & lets me call my mommy when i need stuff & my daddy when i miss him :)
15. football. now this is different from NCSU. i LOVE football. i do. i sound like a guy. i freaking love sunday afternoons watching tv with daddy & watching all the games. faves? san diego chargers of courseee! <3 highschool, college, pro, whatever. i LOVE football. & i'm glad that Hilary agree's with me hahaha :)
16. canada. I spent a week in canada this past summer & it honestly changed my life. the small group times with the people in our 'track', the people i met on site, the times with my church group, & the vault with Ria & sally & melody & anna & emily. everything. by far one of the BEST weeks of my life. God is so amazing, & he just continues to show me that he'll always be here for me & he'll never leave me & he'll get me through anything. to the people i met in canada; i'll never forget you, you impacted my life in such an amazing way, & i miss you & i hope i get to see you again :)
17. the beach! love the beach. i'm deff gonna have a beach house someday :) i mean, lets get this straight. the beach
18. beefay! aka mallory paige cobb. aka mallory gayle cobb. but we don't call her that, shh! its beefay or mpc :) anyway, we're kinda friends by pure fate. i really didn't want to meet her. she really didn't want to meet me. we had 1 thing in common [okay 2]; danielle. [&horses. we were at a horse show after all .. ] & so i was like, well, she's just gonna steal my time with danielle so screwww herrrr! then i met her & was like, oh, she's throwing m&m's at people, & said that my powdered sugar from my funnel cake was crack, & i had it on my pants so i was crack pants .. & i was like well then. she's not that bad ... & then, facebook. gotta love facebook. i'm serious; HAVE to LOVE it. it brought us togeffferrr! so thanks to facebook & then the classic & aim & skypeeee & turkey circuit, i haz a neww best fraaand! & hello. epic stuff from her. KAPEESH! & never say goodbye. ever. & i'm never letting you go. i mean, how amazing is that? its really amazing. superrrrly amazing pictures from her too! :D ahh. i love her. sooo much. & i miss her. a tonnnnn. & our wall - to - wall is EPICLY amazing. i'm serious. so, meet herrr! & become friends with her. but she'll always be MY beefay & i'll always be HER boo, js. i love you babess<3
19. yes, i'm 17 years old, & no, i still don't have texting. & guess what? i'm still alive! so it IS possible :) hahaha
20. i'm addicted to farmville. i am. i love it. its amazing. & i freak out when i realize i need to harvest my crops or else they'll wither & i'm not at home hahaha.
21. chocolate milkshakes. its kinda an inside joke, but i love chocolate milkshakes hahaha.
22. quotes! i love quotes. & lyrics. & bumper stickers. i have a quote for just about anything, & a song for just about every mood. lyrics/quotes are a biiiig part of my life.
23. quarterbacks. okay. i apparently have a thing for quarterbacks. but i don't care. they're soooo cute! squeal. i mean honestly, riley skinner, tim tebow, christian ponder, zach collaros [btw Danielle claimed him .. so yeah] sam bradford, & the best? philip rivers <3
24.twitter & tumblr & blogger. i'm kinda addicted to all of those & i know that nobody reads them or cares but it'll be fun to look back 20 years from now & see what i did hahaha.
25. madison. gotta mention her. i love her :) she's the best doggie EVER & i love her & she makes me laugh all the time & i love my sleeping buddy :)
this was a note on facebook, but some people [cough, sheena, cough cough] wouldn't see it, so i posted it here so they [she] could see too! :)
Saturday, December 19, 2009
I Hung Up My Bridle Today
Danielle told me to read this. & even if you don't ride, I still think its beautiful. & yes, I cried & cried & criedddddd. But its so sweet, & true.
Hung Up My Bridle Todayby Kris Garrett
11-11-09
Yesterday, for the first time,
I was too tired to ride.
I was afraid I would be hurt if I was thrown.
I heard someone say my barn was too shabby.
I let someone tell me I was too pudgy to ride.
I realized I was old
I had to face that I could no longer keep up.
I had to let go of my dreams
I felt my heart break.
I turned my back on my friend.
I knew I was done.
Today, for the last time,
I felt warm, braided leather in my hands.
I ran my stirrups up so they wouldn't bang my mare's sides.
I released the buckles on the girth and watched my girl sigh.
I slowly dropped the bit so it wouldn't hit her teeth.
I gave my mare a cookie to thank her for the ride.
I buried my head in her soft, warm neck.
I inhaled the sun and the dust in her long winter coat.
I closed the gate and trudged to the muddy porch.
I tracked hay and horse hair into my house.
I pulled off my boots and felt the sting of warm blood returning to my cold toes.
Today, for the first time,
I cried after my ride.
I felt my hands shake as I set the saddle on its rack.
I hugged my young trainer a final goodbye.
I waited for the new owner's trailer to arrive.
I set my boots in a box to go to the Goodwill.
I sighed at the wear on my riding gloves.
I had no hay in my hair.
I did not hear nickering when I opened my back door.
I felt worse leaving the barn that I did when I entered.
I had no one to check on before going to bed.
Tomorrow, for the first time,
I won't have to buy hay.
I can stay in bed longer.
I won't see the poop pile grow.
I won't be able to fly on four legs.
I will be sorry I listened.
I will regret letting her go.
I will be angry at God.
I will be angry at myself.
I will cry the day away.
I will be glad to die.
Day after tomorrow, for the first time,
I will awaken in tears.
I will know I was wrong.
I will defy all the judgment.
I will ignore my old bones.
I will return the buyer's check.
I will bring my friend home.
I will take my boots out of the box.
I will be reborn.
For the rest of my life,
I will have a horse in my yard.
I will ignore the cruel judging.
I will watch the poop pile grow.
I will have hay in my hair.
I will track mud in my house.
I will bury my face in her soft neck.
I will let my soul fly.
I will never be alone.
Friday, December 18, 2009
forever ...
Okay. So. Sheena had the broad statement that "breathing is essential". and yes, it is. so i've kinda had my own realization thingey... okay... its REALLY simple & i know you're gonna laugh, so prepare yourself.
Death is forever.
(uhh.. okay? ... )
and just what gets me so much is the fact that I'll never see grandma again. or my other grandma. or Mr. Gerald. or Mrs. Julia. well, not ever ever ever again, but in this life. I know i'll see them in heaven, but who knows how long that will be be? i mean, i could see them by the end of writing this sentence! ( and if you're reading this then i guessssss it didn't happen quite yet, hahaha) but just.. idk. its been what, 7 months since grandma died? 8 months since mrs. julia died? & it seems like an eternity.. and i have the rest of my life to life without them in it. all the things that i'll go through, without them. & that's prettttyyyy depressing. so i try not to think about that too much, but yeah.. *sigh* i don't know.
& its almost like a piece of me is like "okay, so in a certain amount of time this will be over, they'll be back, and it'll be like normal again." & not like denial, its not that i'm denying that they're gone, its just like, i'm denying the fact that they're gone forever. & then a piece of me completely realizes that they are gone & i won't see them here again, & i'm .. okay with it.
goshhhhh i'm really screwed up hahaha. & i was thinking that maybe by typing it out & just, "talking" it out would make it make more sense... but it really didn't. so yeah.
Kenny Chesney's "Who You'd Be Today" has been on repeat the whole time i've been writing this. i love that song. maybe i'll do a blog of songs that i've listened to alot during this whole ...ordeal. yeah, maybe i'll do that later on. anyway, i love these lyrics. and even tho its more of like a younger person dying than an older person, i still reallllly listen to the lyrics & can apply them to my life, ya know? but anyway! the favorite part. at the very end,
"sunny days seem to hurt the most,
i wear the pain like a heavy coat,
but the only thing that gives me hope
is i know i'll see you again someday"
and I will. I'll see them all again someday :) & that gives me the hope & strength to get there ...
Death is forever.
(uhh.. okay? ... )
and just what gets me so much is the fact that I'll never see grandma again. or my other grandma. or Mr. Gerald. or Mrs. Julia. well, not ever ever ever again, but in this life. I know i'll see them in heaven, but who knows how long that will be be? i mean, i could see them by the end of writing this sentence! ( and if you're reading this then i guessssss it didn't happen quite yet, hahaha) but just.. idk. its been what, 7 months since grandma died? 8 months since mrs. julia died? & it seems like an eternity.. and i have the rest of my life to life without them in it. all the things that i'll go through, without them. & that's prettttyyyy depressing. so i try not to think about that too much, but yeah.. *sigh* i don't know.
& its almost like a piece of me is like "okay, so in a certain amount of time this will be over, they'll be back, and it'll be like normal again." & not like denial, its not that i'm denying that they're gone, its just like, i'm denying the fact that they're gone forever. & then a piece of me completely realizes that they are gone & i won't see them here again, & i'm .. okay with it.
goshhhhh i'm really screwed up hahaha. & i was thinking that maybe by typing it out & just, "talking" it out would make it make more sense... but it really didn't. so yeah.
Kenny Chesney's "Who You'd Be Today" has been on repeat the whole time i've been writing this. i love that song. maybe i'll do a blog of songs that i've listened to alot during this whole ...ordeal. yeah, maybe i'll do that later on. anyway, i love these lyrics. and even tho its more of like a younger person dying than an older person, i still reallllly listen to the lyrics & can apply them to my life, ya know? but anyway! the favorite part. at the very end,
"sunny days seem to hurt the most,
i wear the pain like a heavy coat,
but the only thing that gives me hope
is i know i'll see you again someday"
and I will. I'll see them all again someday :) & that gives me the hope & strength to get there ...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
8. 9. 57.
count downsss!
8 days until my 3rd favorite day of the year; christmas eve with my daddy!
9 days until my favorite day of the year, christmas!
and 57 days until my 4th favorite day of the year, anytime i get to see danielle!
so yeah.
this is insanelyyyyy redic & unnecessary butttt i don't care! hahaha.
oh! i get to see Amanda next week! i haven't seen her since her dad's funeral 3 years ago. so pathetic, ughey. but anyway. thats going to be SO so so much fun! & meagan comes home tomorrow, so we're gonna have a "legit" date this time hahaha. so anyway. i declare, my friendships got so much stronger with everybody after they went off to college! wierdddd.
but anyway. yeah. hahaha i honestly don't know. wow. and i'm still talking! so yeah. maybe i'll shut up now.
OH!
i had a crisis last night.
nobody could see my status' on facebook. NOBODY. ughey. so then i realized, after having to stop & take a SHOWER because i was so upset, that when i post a status from andrew, nobody can see it. and if i do one from my laptop, then people can. so ughey. i don't know anymore hahaha. but anyway, annie helped me last night & it was all good :)
8 days until my 3rd favorite day of the year; christmas eve with my daddy!
9 days until my favorite day of the year, christmas!
and 57 days until my 4th favorite day of the year, anytime i get to see danielle!
so yeah.
this is insanelyyyyy redic & unnecessary butttt i don't care! hahaha.
oh! i get to see Amanda next week! i haven't seen her since her dad's funeral 3 years ago. so pathetic, ughey. but anyway. thats going to be SO so so much fun! & meagan comes home tomorrow, so we're gonna have a "legit" date this time hahaha. so anyway. i declare, my friendships got so much stronger with everybody after they went off to college! wierdddd.
but anyway. yeah. hahaha i honestly don't know. wow. and i'm still talking! so yeah. maybe i'll shut up now.
OH!
i had a crisis last night.
nobody could see my status' on facebook. NOBODY. ughey. so then i realized, after having to stop & take a SHOWER because i was so upset, that when i post a status from andrew, nobody can see it. and if i do one from my laptop, then people can. so ughey. i don't know anymore hahaha. but anyway, annie helped me last night & it was all good :)
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
woo.. okay?
so.
i was reading Danielle & I's IM archive history earlier today cause i was bored. & it only goes back to like September. depressing. & then i realized SO much of our epicness comes from phone conversations. AIM isn't there to archive that. so really funny stuff, or stuff that i just wanna keep, i'm going to blog. so in 10 years we can read it. & i'm going to try the label thing. so yeah. ima go ahead & apologize for it. cause i have no clue how much i'll post. or i could just create a new blog? maybe i'll do that. YES. i will. ahh! i'm excited. for mallory & danielle & amy & maygen & annie & alexie & claire and everybodyyyy. okay. prolly more of danielle & amy, i talk to them the most via-non-aim stuff. so yeah.
okay.
i'll post the link in a bit.
so annie creates epic playlists at 1:30.
i create blogs for my best friends at 12:17.
woooo!
okay, im so stoked now! hahaha :)
i was reading Danielle & I's IM archive history earlier today cause i was bored. & it only goes back to like September. depressing. & then i realized SO much of our epicness comes from phone conversations. AIM isn't there to archive that. so really funny stuff, or stuff that i just wanna keep, i'm going to blog. so in 10 years we can read it. & i'm going to try the label thing. so yeah. ima go ahead & apologize for it. cause i have no clue how much i'll post. or i could just create a new blog? maybe i'll do that. YES. i will. ahh! i'm excited. for mallory & danielle & amy & maygen & annie & alexie & claire and everybodyyyy. okay. prolly more of danielle & amy, i talk to them the most via-non-aim stuff. so yeah.
okay.
i'll post the link in a bit.
so annie creates epic playlists at 1:30.
i create blogs for my best friends at 12:17.
woooo!
okay, im so stoked now! hahaha :)
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