hey peoples. so. title of this blog is from anna nalik's song, breathe. i've been listening to it alot lately. cause, thats all we can do. is just breathe. no matter whats going on, you just gotta take it all in stride. day by day. & when day by day doesn't work, hour by hour. sometimes minute by minute. and when that's too much, second by second. trust me. i've done them all this past week.
i've had so much going on, and one thing kinda resolved itself, after an explantion, but i don't know. i know it can never be the same. because she honestly thought i would do that.. and i can't believe she thought i would. THAT hurts. that she thinks i would betray her... so its just kinda like, we're 'friends' again now, but i know it can never be the same. oh well.
anddddd we passed the one month mark of mrs. julia's death.. and its still SO hard. i see things that remind me of her everyday... anddddd it just sucksss. i miss her so much. but i have my cross <3
monday night.. ohhhhhhh dear goodness. it was amazing. and beautiful. and i cried and cried. it was the perfect ending. but. what do i do now? seriously ; its over. i can't believe it. i don't know what ima do now.... i feel like mu life now has no meaning. gahhh. but me&annie&sheena&tina&amy&kc&heather&MAYGEN will get through somehow. another. i really don't know how, but, well yeah i do. cause sheena is ganna write some KICK A$$ stories. [no pressure babe] SO. and maygen is going to post MY STORY. [i think i've been waiting my whole life for it.]
so yeahhhhh. && of course the whole 'faling otu of the swing/getting stitches/no cute dr.' thing.. yeah. lol.
alrighteyyyy folks (: enjoy (:
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
life is short..
alrightyyyy you guys.
so here's my new out-take on life. life is SHORT. i don't know if i'm going to live to be a 100 years old or i'll make it through tomorrow. but i know one thing. no matter how long or how short it is, i want people who are my REAL friends by my side. people i know that love me for who i am, who will stick up for me, and when the going gets rough, i'll see them. i don't want to spend my time with fake imposters, who just want to be my friend cause its convienent or whatever.
so idk, just some things have happened recently that got me to this conclusion. so you guys know who you are. the imposters and the real ones. to the fakers ; screw you, i'll be fine without you. to my real girls, i love you so much and i'm to glad that you're there for me, whenever. i love you (:
major shoutout and congrats to my loverrrrrrrrr, miss danielle taylor plourd and zippos dandy leo on winning youth horsemanship at region 10. congrats baby girl, im so proud of my kick @$$ best friend (:
so here's my new out-take on life. life is SHORT. i don't know if i'm going to live to be a 100 years old or i'll make it through tomorrow. but i know one thing. no matter how long or how short it is, i want people who are my REAL friends by my side. people i know that love me for who i am, who will stick up for me, and when the going gets rough, i'll see them. i don't want to spend my time with fake imposters, who just want to be my friend cause its convienent or whatever.
so idk, just some things have happened recently that got me to this conclusion. so you guys know who you are. the imposters and the real ones. to the fakers ; screw you, i'll be fine without you. to my real girls, i love you so much and i'm to glad that you're there for me, whenever. i love you (:
major shoutout and congrats to my loverrrrrrrrr, miss danielle taylor plourd and zippos dandy leo on winning youth horsemanship at region 10. congrats baby girl, im so proud of my kick @$$ best friend (:
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
just dance, gonna be okay
allllllrightey now.
so, i gotta say. i've been happy these past few days. since friday to be exact. and it feels dang good. after the past months, with deaths and drama, it felt pretty daggone good to stand in the middle of the arena with danielle, blasting 'boom boom pow' on my phone, dancing like idiots, and being stupid. aka, being 16. it felt GOOD. to just LIVE. to smile. to forget everything else. to just be with who makes ya smile. it totally brought me back down to earth. and being in the arena, riding parker, doing what i do, and being happy, and being rewarded for what i pour my heart and soul into? it felt frickin amazing. THIS is why i do what i do. this feeling. the feeling of content-ness. [is that a word? idk] just feeling WHOLE. laughing until i almost fall off of parker cause i did something stupid that made danielle laugh. or just the whole 14-18 hms group in the warm up running over each other trying to get the last minute practice in. and being congratulated by complete strangers on an amazing HMS run. hearing your named called for circuit champion. scratching that spot on your horses neck just because you know it feels good. eatting a funnel cake and a bag of M&&M's durring the HUS with your best friend, just for old times sake. its what keeps me sane. what keeps me going. what keeps me pushing on through the tough times. to know that better times are ahead. and, i don't know. its just the feeling i get. when it takes 4 people to lunge harvey. orrrrr when you're getting the latest gossip on horseback in the corner.
just being with who makes you smile.
this life and world is so twisted and screwed up, if you don't look for and appreciate the happy moments, you'll go insane. and i've reallllllly been trying to appreciate the small things. smelling the roses. ya got to appreciate the small stuff or else you'll just be screweddddd. so. i smile. alot. at getting an email saying try me was updated. or in everysingle second of every single day. or make a pretty memory. or spotlight. OR getting an email from danielle's phone (: or my fave song comming on the radio. or remembering a special memory with my grandma. the inside jokes. the small stuff. ya just gotta smile.
so. here's to my amazing best friend danielle taylor plourd. ya know why. (: I MADE YOU BLUSH! haha. loverrrrrrrr.
so, i gotta say. i've been happy these past few days. since friday to be exact. and it feels dang good. after the past months, with deaths and drama, it felt pretty daggone good to stand in the middle of the arena with danielle, blasting 'boom boom pow' on my phone, dancing like idiots, and being stupid. aka, being 16. it felt GOOD. to just LIVE. to smile. to forget everything else. to just be with who makes ya smile. it totally brought me back down to earth. and being in the arena, riding parker, doing what i do, and being happy, and being rewarded for what i pour my heart and soul into? it felt frickin amazing. THIS is why i do what i do. this feeling. the feeling of content-ness. [is that a word? idk] just feeling WHOLE. laughing until i almost fall off of parker cause i did something stupid that made danielle laugh. or just the whole 14-18 hms group in the warm up running over each other trying to get the last minute practice in. and being congratulated by complete strangers on an amazing HMS run. hearing your named called for circuit champion. scratching that spot on your horses neck just because you know it feels good. eatting a funnel cake and a bag of M&&M's durring the HUS with your best friend, just for old times sake. its what keeps me sane. what keeps me going. what keeps me pushing on through the tough times. to know that better times are ahead. and, i don't know. its just the feeling i get. when it takes 4 people to lunge harvey. orrrrr when you're getting the latest gossip on horseback in the corner.
just being with who makes you smile.
this life and world is so twisted and screwed up, if you don't look for and appreciate the happy moments, you'll go insane. and i've reallllllly been trying to appreciate the small things. smelling the roses. ya got to appreciate the small stuff or else you'll just be screweddddd. so. i smile. alot. at getting an email saying try me was updated. or in everysingle second of every single day. or make a pretty memory. or spotlight. OR getting an email from danielle's phone (: or my fave song comming on the radio. or remembering a special memory with my grandma. the inside jokes. the small stuff. ya just gotta smile.
so. here's to my amazing best friend danielle taylor plourd. ya know why. (: I MADE YOU BLUSH! haha. loverrrrrrrr.
Friday, May 8, 2009
NCQHA district V, day 1 <3
okay. im super tired. but ima give yall an update since i like yall so much, haha.
show ; AMAZING! parker did so good for me (:
halter ; 3/3. i was up against some MAJOR halter horses, so i can't complain.
14-18 SMS. 4/10. parker was really REALLY good. by far one of our BEST Patterns. but we just weren't as 'sharp' as the others.
NY HMS ; 1/8. parker NAILED the pattern. *i* personally thought our pivots SUCKED, but everybody else said they were good, so i'm like okaaaay...
14-18 HMS ; 3/4. it had a lead change. && when your the only one doing a simple, it kinda hurts ya. i beat the girl whos horse bucked durring her flying lead change. yeah. but parker did really good, && i was happy.
youth trail. ?/3. it was an INSANE pattern. everyyybody was complaining. it had 3 lope overs, 2 J/O's, a teeeeenytiney box, and yeah. i just wanted to get through it w/o demolishing it. which we kinda accomplished. they had a lope circle pole thingey, that was really tight, and either you hit all your marks and were clean or you screwed it up. i mostly hit my marks, but we were kiiiinda 'out there' on the last pole. i can't tell from the vid if his hind end got over the pole or not. anyway. i was pleased with him. as soon as i got thru w/ my run i put him up, and we didn't hear how i did, butttt i'm thinking 2nd or 3rd outta 3. so i guess we'll see in the AM.
my shirt. okay. DIDN'T get here until TODAY. so i didn't get to wear it today, but my dad brought it tonight so i can wear it tomorrow. its a little big, it needs to be altered to fit, but it'll work. its really pretty, and for what we paid, its really nice. AND, thanks to my other mother miss lisa, i'll have a HOTT saddle pad to match. [i love you miss lisa!]
now. the hotel room. looong story short, after confirming like a thousand times that it was NON smoking [cause it screws with my allergies SO bad to be in a smoking room ; figured that out the hard way] we ended up with a smoking room. && the hotel is packed, so they can't give us anotehr room. fml much? i think so. so, tomorrow i'll be sniffling and sneezing and just UGH!
but i've had so much fun! i got to spend alot of time w/ ashlyn bodine and shes really cool, we played w/ her ipod and watched the HUS classes. and i got to spend some quality best frand time with my loverrrrr, miss danielle taylor. i missed her so much, and ahhh. i love her.
pics/vids.
i have some halter pics, and my mom missed my SMS class cause she went to get breakfast and the classes moved SUPER fast, and she video'ed my HMS classes and trail. so i put together a vid of those video's, and i also threw in danielle's WR run. its super blurry and really bad cause i was trying to hold my dog and my drink and video and yeah, i suck at videoing. haha.
anyway. here is the link to the pics ;
and the video is uploading, i'll edit and post it once its thru.
show ; AMAZING! parker did so good for me (:
halter ; 3/3. i was up against some MAJOR halter horses, so i can't complain.
14-18 SMS. 4/10. parker was really REALLY good. by far one of our BEST Patterns. but we just weren't as 'sharp' as the others.
NY HMS ; 1/8. parker NAILED the pattern. *i* personally thought our pivots SUCKED, but everybody else said they were good, so i'm like okaaaay...
14-18 HMS ; 3/4. it had a lead change. && when your the only one doing a simple, it kinda hurts ya. i beat the girl whos horse bucked durring her flying lead change. yeah. but parker did really good, && i was happy.
youth trail. ?/3. it was an INSANE pattern. everyyybody was complaining. it had 3 lope overs, 2 J/O's, a teeeeenytiney box, and yeah. i just wanted to get through it w/o demolishing it. which we kinda accomplished. they had a lope circle pole thingey, that was really tight, and either you hit all your marks and were clean or you screwed it up. i mostly hit my marks, but we were kiiiinda 'out there' on the last pole. i can't tell from the vid if his hind end got over the pole or not. anyway. i was pleased with him. as soon as i got thru w/ my run i put him up, and we didn't hear how i did, butttt i'm thinking 2nd or 3rd outta 3. so i guess we'll see in the AM.
my shirt. okay. DIDN'T get here until TODAY. so i didn't get to wear it today, but my dad brought it tonight so i can wear it tomorrow. its a little big, it needs to be altered to fit, but it'll work. its really pretty, and for what we paid, its really nice. AND, thanks to my other mother miss lisa, i'll have a HOTT saddle pad to match. [i love you miss lisa!]
now. the hotel room. looong story short, after confirming like a thousand times that it was NON smoking [cause it screws with my allergies SO bad to be in a smoking room ; figured that out the hard way] we ended up with a smoking room. && the hotel is packed, so they can't give us anotehr room. fml much? i think so. so, tomorrow i'll be sniffling and sneezing and just UGH!
but i've had so much fun! i got to spend alot of time w/ ashlyn bodine and shes really cool, we played w/ her ipod and watched the HUS classes. and i got to spend some quality best frand time with my loverrrrr, miss danielle taylor. i missed her so much, and ahhh. i love her.
pics/vids.
i have some halter pics, and my mom missed my SMS class cause she went to get breakfast and the classes moved SUPER fast, and she video'ed my HMS classes and trail. so i put together a vid of those video's, and i also threw in danielle's WR run. its super blurry and really bad cause i was trying to hold my dog and my drink and video and yeah, i suck at videoing. haha.
anyway. here is the link to the pics ;
and the video is uploading, i'll edit and post it once its thru.
Monday, May 4, 2009
toasts&&BEST FRiENDS<3
so. today is my last monday as a junior. pretty scary, huh? so in Pub. Speaking we had to give a toast. so i gave mine in honor of maygen lauren gibbons. and it got to me thinking. [ususally a bad thing.. jk] how lucky and fortunate and blessed i am to have such amazing friends. they're sweet, loving, but hen i need the honest truth, they're not afraid to say that this outfit sucks or that i totally screwed up. and when i fall they are there to pick me up, and if i can't, they'll lie down with me. i know i can call them ANYTiMe, 3 am, during school, during supper, whenever, whatever. they're abs. amazing and i love them with all of my heart, and i know i wouldn't and couldn't be who i am today if it wasn't for them. just the little stuff they do.. getting a text with a smiley face, or having a mad war with maygen quoting oth, or blasting boom boom pow with MAC. its the getting the emails saying a story was updated, or just a "hey. your face is pretty." email. the little stuff. thanks babes.
so here's a shoutout to muh lovely ladies ;
* amy elizabeth speight
* maygen lauren gibbons
* sheena
* danielle taylor plourd
* mac
* mallory PAiGE gayle
* ANNiE!
and many many more. i love you girls.
so here's a shoutout to muh lovely ladies ;
* amy elizabeth speight
* maygen lauren gibbons
* sheena
* danielle taylor plourd
* mac
* mallory PAiGE gayle
* ANNiE!
and many many more. i love you girls.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
me&my giiiiirls (: <3
okay. so just please watch this. all of it. i know, i know. its uber long. but, if you don't laugh, then, your funny bone is mia or something. its my life bascially. i love maygen and amy. &&my eyes look really blue. yay. haha.. comentario, por favor.
so i'm having issues w/ the link, but just please copy and paste the link below and watch and commenttttt!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMSZLLscRCQ
so i'm having issues w/ the link, but just please copy and paste the link below and watch and commenttttt!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMSZLLscRCQ
Monday, April 27, 2009
updates and happiness?
so. on sunday, it was so effing hot though, omg. like heat index was MID 90's! ahhhhh. hott. 'blue ninja' is still getting fixed, so i couldn't take it out. gahhh. we went to see this ventriloquist [sp?] and he was filming his performance so we thought it would be really good. well. it was about 25 minutes, theeeeeen, this 3-person quartet thingey got up and sang. and sang. and sang. AND SANG. for like 2 freaking hours. so. maygen called me like a 1000 times durring this time so i didn't know if she was dying or what... but. TRY ME WAS UPDATED! ohhhhhh em gee. so. i got this ahhhhhmazement VM from her yelling at me to get home and read it. so i stole my dads phone and read it.. and AHH! OHHHHHHH MY FREAKINGGGGGG GOSHHHHH! I love sheena. its goregous. i have learned so much from her. 1) screw pajamas. 2) i now have a theory in life. 3) when maygen and i are together and we want to 'get away', i do honestly believe that a storm is comming! oh no! *gasp* we MUST hit the road then! oh darn, we have to leave a night early. shoot shoot shoot. [[please tell me you picked up on the sarcasm dripping off my tounge]] so. needless to say i kinda FREAAAAKED! haha. so yes. then. maygs updates DH ; sad sad sad chapter! omg. i cried so much. then at the end i read that the next chapter is the end, and i REALLY bawl. i mean, DH is the reason maygen and i are such best freakign friends! and idk, it made me really sad to know that its ending. and i know that just cause DH is ending doesn't mean that im losing by best friend, but idk. i just got really sad :(
monday was pretty good ; school was.. school. we did grocery shopping, then picked up the trash that our oh so loverly neighbors allowed to get in my pasture, and then we went and picked STRAWBERRIES! the first of the season. YAY! ahhhh. stoked. then we made ICE CREAM. heck freaking yeah! it was so so so so so so SO good. omg. yes yes ANDDDDD yes!
so. finally. ONE TREE HILL. i'd been waiting forever for this episode, with the flashbacks. it was HOTT. by far like top 2 episode THIS SEASON. omg. and most deff top 5 EVER. it was hott. helloooo ; nick lachey? haha. chaser. more like a bad long island iced tea.. OMG! i knew i liked you. ahhhh. yess'ums. i about died, like 5 times, while watching it. OMG. more on the leyton to come (: AHHHHH it was so HOTT! i flipped. OUT. im in freaking looooooove. ahhh.
then, i'm on this MAJOR oth high, so i walk into my bathroom to get a scrunchie, and i trip. and my phone goes flying. care to guess where it lands? just guess. yupp. the toilet. so. my brand new, 8 day old, TOUCH SCREEN phone was in the bottom of the toilet. ughhh. like MAJOR FML. i was soooooo pissed ; it TOTALLY ruined my night. so we let it air out all night, but the screen doesn't work today ; gah. so im out of a phone until daddy gets home like friday when he can take it into the store and see if they will give me a new one. fml much? seriously. soooo.. NOT happy about that.
but today we did some shopping, like all effing day long. i got a cute skirt tho (: and we ate at steak and shake. yummy. and his morning, sheena updated make a pretty memory, and ohhhh lemme tell you. it was HOTT. i mean, almost as hott as last night. pretty darn close. AHHH. i squeeled the whole time reading it. and it TOTALLY made my day. whenever i'd feel bad about my dead phone, i'd think of MAPM and i'd smile (: so ily babe. it helps. and i really suck cause i still haven't reviewd the last chapter of Try me and i haven't like PM'ed or emailed her or sent her a vid so i reallllly suck.
but i found myself asking this question last night.. am i allowed to be happy? cause it seems like everytime something good happens in my life, or something that makes me smile, or makes me happy, or just idk, lifts my mood, is counter-acted by something even worse. it seems to have all started around easter... i had a really great day, and grandma had a good day, and then we found out about mrs. julia.. and then try me FiNALLY got 'there', and then she died. and then, its just a good thing and a WORSE thing happens. ugh. but i am SO thankful that maygen, amy, and taylor have been there for me. no matter when, i've been able to cry/hug/talk to them all.. and i appreciate it SO much. i love you babiessssss<33
sooo.. thats been my life for the past copule days. kinda crazy, eh? thought so. sheena and maygen have been TOTALLY amazing. and i love themmmm<33 and fan fiction. and mark. and hilarie. and chad. and oth. and parker. and maygen. and sheena. and try me. and make a pretty memory. and defining happiness. and making memories of us [more info to come] and in every second of every day. and STORY TIME!
enjoy <3 (:
monday was pretty good ; school was.. school. we did grocery shopping, then picked up the trash that our oh so loverly neighbors allowed to get in my pasture, and then we went and picked STRAWBERRIES! the first of the season. YAY! ahhhh. stoked. then we made ICE CREAM. heck freaking yeah! it was so so so so so so SO good. omg. yes yes ANDDDDD yes!
so. finally. ONE TREE HILL. i'd been waiting forever for this episode, with the flashbacks. it was HOTT. by far like top 2 episode THIS SEASON. omg. and most deff top 5 EVER. it was hott. helloooo ; nick lachey? haha. chaser. more like a bad long island iced tea.. OMG! i knew i liked you. ahhhh. yess'ums. i about died, like 5 times, while watching it. OMG. more on the leyton to come (: AHHHHH it was so HOTT! i flipped. OUT. im in freaking looooooove. ahhh.
then, i'm on this MAJOR oth high, so i walk into my bathroom to get a scrunchie, and i trip. and my phone goes flying. care to guess where it lands? just guess. yupp. the toilet. so. my brand new, 8 day old, TOUCH SCREEN phone was in the bottom of the toilet. ughhh. like MAJOR FML. i was soooooo pissed ; it TOTALLY ruined my night. so we let it air out all night, but the screen doesn't work today ; gah. so im out of a phone until daddy gets home like friday when he can take it into the store and see if they will give me a new one. fml much? seriously. soooo.. NOT happy about that.
but today we did some shopping, like all effing day long. i got a cute skirt tho (: and we ate at steak and shake. yummy. and his morning, sheena updated make a pretty memory, and ohhhh lemme tell you. it was HOTT. i mean, almost as hott as last night. pretty darn close. AHHH. i squeeled the whole time reading it. and it TOTALLY made my day. whenever i'd feel bad about my dead phone, i'd think of MAPM and i'd smile (: so ily babe. it helps. and i really suck cause i still haven't reviewd the last chapter of Try me and i haven't like PM'ed or emailed her or sent her a vid so i reallllly suck.
but i found myself asking this question last night.. am i allowed to be happy? cause it seems like everytime something good happens in my life, or something that makes me smile, or makes me happy, or just idk, lifts my mood, is counter-acted by something even worse. it seems to have all started around easter... i had a really great day, and grandma had a good day, and then we found out about mrs. julia.. and then try me FiNALLY got 'there', and then she died. and then, its just a good thing and a WORSE thing happens. ugh. but i am SO thankful that maygen, amy, and taylor have been there for me. no matter when, i've been able to cry/hug/talk to them all.. and i appreciate it SO much. i love you babiessssss<33
sooo.. thats been my life for the past copule days. kinda crazy, eh? thought so. sheena and maygen have been TOTALLY amazing. and i love themmmm<33 and fan fiction. and mark. and hilarie. and chad. and oth. and parker. and maygen. and sheena. and try me. and make a pretty memory. and defining happiness. and making memories of us [more info to come] and in every second of every day. and STORY TIME!
enjoy <3 (:
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