stuff & the weekend.

soooo, i haven't exactely blogged in a while. because there's not much to say.. <-- lie. idk. its just, i haven't felt like the world needed to hear all of my problems i've been dealing with. and i know some of you are like, "psh, you tell me everything!" and i do. for a reason. i trust you. i know your not gonna go behind my back and talk about me, you seem to actually CARE, and idk, i just feel like i can tell them any & everything. weather they like it or not... lol. but yeah. you know who you are. so, since those 4 very special people have been taking care of me, i'm kinda filled up on my "help-o-meter". and lemme tell ya. i've had some major.. girl-issues this past week. but its good now. but i do think i needa just shut up sometimes. so i'm gonna try that. shutting up. but it prolly won't work. but i am going to try, cause you prolly hate me w/ all i tell haha.

so now that i've got that outta the way, i can talk about what i did this weekend! wooo.

thursday; i went to West Johnson's JV football game, to see Robert play & stuff. they lost, really really badly, but Robert had a couple sacks and had alot of tackles', so it was good :) he's # 59; aka, the biggest guy on the team. (pretty much anyway)

Friday; DATE NIGHT WITH THE BEST FRIENDDDDD! ahhh. excited. so, we basically ate at El Tap, went to marshall's, ross, rue 21, and starbucks. ahhhh. so amazing. she pretty much fixed everything, and i was so happy =)

and like did you seriously expect us to go shopping WITHOUT trying on the most hideous dresses we could find? please.

Saturday; NC State/Wake Forest game; eeekkkkkkkkk. we started out really good. then it went downhill. until like, 5 minutes left in the game. we almost made a comback, buuuuttttt, ugh. lets just not talk about it.

Sunday; homecomming @ church, good food and stuff. then i did nothing. all day. omg, soooo amazing. theeeen the chargers/steelers game. eeek. again. i mean, honestly. it was a terrible weekend for football. except that unc lost, WOOT WOOT! but we did make a comback, but we still sucked & lost. ugh.

so what did i learn from this weekend? i have the best best friend in the whole entire world, like ever and ever, and philip rivers is ultimately the sexiest, hottest guy on the earth.

good weekend <3

get lost.

do you ever just wanna, drive & get lost? completely lose touch with reality...

just skip town with the person who means the most, and leave cell phones and computers at home, and just go.

leave all the drama & bs and crap at home, forget the ones who betrayed you, the ones who hurt you, and just be with who really means the most?

forget all your worries, all your troubles, all your heartache.

and just DRIVE. ending up, who knows where. just.. leave.

yeah. i wanna get lost. i feel like i need to get lost. &i need you now.

R.I.P. Bella

last night, around 1am, i got a terrifying phone call from Dan & Kristi saying that Bella died. it abs. broke my heart.

for those of you that don't know, Bella was a spotted draft horse. She was by far the friendliest giant you'll ever meet. she had no idea how big she was. she was truly a big ol' teddy bear. and her neck was, HUGE. in the winter, she was so much fun to sit on bareback and mess around, because she kept you warm! haha. she was so big, it was like sitting on a couch. and talk about being bow-legged when you got off! haha. bella's canter was HUGE. well i mean obviously, she was a draft horse, but it was sooooo different than any other canter i've ever ridden.

for the Bailey Christmas Parade 2 years ago, Sissy rode Bella, and I walked buddy, and they were parts of our float. that was definately really cool.

but she was just, a really really cool horse. SO gentle & sweet, but she would try to get her way sometimes too, so you would have to get on her a little bit.

but you'll never find another horse like her, and  I am so honored to have been able to ride her & know her, and I'm so thankful to say that she was the first draft horse I ever rode.

You'll forever live in my heart <3

complex

i do. i really really do.

and i give myself a complex.

for example.

if i don't talk to somebody for a few days, i freak out, and think they're superly pissed at me or something. so then, i replay EVERYTHING we've said within the past few days trying to analyze what i did to tick them off, or make them mad at me.

or, if somebody posts a tweet or blog or status update about somebody annoying them, or being selfish, or being a *itch, i like, freak out and think its about me and then beat myself over a thousand times.

then, i finally get to talk to that person, and they're not mad at me. they've just been REALLY busy. & i havne't screwed up this amazing relationship i have with that person.

talk about being relieved.

and i can finally breathe again.

like, the world is no longer on my shoulders. it feels SO good. even tho i've prolly added a few gray hairs from FREAKING out so much, but yeah.

its one of my many quirks. =)

I can make playlists, too!

so gosh, it seemed like EVERYBODY was making new playlists today! sheena, KC, callie, everybody.. SO, i made one too! this one is really.. random. as always. so, i hope you enjoy! so far, i'm REALY liking it :)

it left some off, so here are the ones at the bottom;

-how to save a life; the fray

-100 years; Five for Fighting

-I don't want to wait; Paula Cole

-Babylon; David Gray

-Stolen; Dashboard Confessional

-Smile; Uncle Cracker

so yeah, super cheesey, haha, but thats OK. and yeah, i'm kinda addicted to SGAHFM, chuuuknowwwittttt Sheena!

enjoy :)

To whom it may concern..

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year old again. I want
to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to
think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to play dodgeball at recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a
big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you,
because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things
that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. Somewhere in our youth, we matured
and learned too much. There are nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, and abused children. Lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain, and death. A world where
companies poison our water and our soil, and children kill. What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we
didn't grasp the concept of death? When the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball. I
want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to return to the days when children played
hide-n-seek outside instead of being glued to a television, when video games were as harmless as Pac-Man...instead of spine-ripping, blood-splattering
mind numbers like Mortal Combat, and TV still had some shows on that weren't about sex, killing, and lies.

I remember being naive and thinking everyone was happy because I was. Afternoons were spent climbing trees and fences and riding my bike. I never
worried about time, bills, or where I was going to find the money to fix my car. I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not
worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out. I want to live simple again.

I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money
in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice,
peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So.... here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to
discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause, "Tag! You're it."

okay. i realize i'm only 17, and not an 'adult', but this made me smile, so yeah. enjoy!

agree?

maybe we expect more from others because we would be willing to do THAT much for them...