updates and happiness?

so. on sunday, it was so effing hot though, omg. like heat index was MID 90's! ahhhhh. hott. 'blue ninja' is still getting fixed, so i couldn't take it out. gahhh. we went to see this ventriloquist [sp?] and he was filming his performance so we thought it would be really good. well. it was about 25 minutes, theeeeeen, this 3-person quartet thingey got up and sang. and sang. and sang. AND SANG. for like 2 freaking hours. so. maygen called me like a 1000 times durring this time so i didn't know if she was dying or what... but. TRY ME WAS UPDATED! ohhhhhh em gee. so. i got this ahhhhhmazement VM from her yelling at me to get home and read it. so i stole my dads phone and read it.. and AHH! OHHHHHHH MY FREAKINGGGGGG GOSHHHHH! I love sheena. its goregous. i have learned so much from her. 1) screw pajamas. 2) i now have a theory in life. 3) when maygen and i are together and we want to 'get away', i do honestly believe that a storm is comming! oh no! *gasp* we MUST hit the road then! oh darn, we have to leave a night early. shoot shoot shoot. [[please tell me you picked up on the sarcasm dripping off my tounge]] so. needless to say i kinda FREAAAAKED! haha. so yes. then. maygs updates DH ; sad sad sad chapter! omg. i cried so much. then at the end i read that the next chapter is the end, and i REALLY bawl. i mean, DH is the reason maygen and i are such best freakign friends! and idk, it made me really sad to know that its ending. and i know that just cause DH is ending doesn't mean that im losing by best friend, but idk. i just got really sad :(


monday was pretty good ; school was.. school. we did grocery shopping, then picked up the trash that our oh so loverly neighbors allowed to get in my pasture, and then we went and picked STRAWBERRIES! the first of the season. YAY! ahhhh. stoked. then we made ICE CREAM. heck freaking yeah! it was so so so so so so SO good. omg. yes yes ANDDDDD yes!


so. finally. ONE TREE HILL. i'd been waiting forever for this episode, with the flashbacks. it was HOTT. by far like top 2 episode THIS SEASON. omg. and most deff top 5 EVER. it was hott. helloooo ; nick lachey? haha. chaser. more like a bad long island iced tea.. OMG! i knew i liked you. ahhhh. yess'ums. i about died, like 5 times, while watching it. OMG. more on the leyton to come (: AHHHHH it was so HOTT! i flipped. OUT. im in freaking looooooove. ahhh.

then, i'm on this MAJOR oth high, so i walk into my bathroom to get a scrunchie, and i trip. and my phone goes flying. care to guess where it lands? just guess. yupp. the toilet. so. my brand new, 8 day old, TOUCH SCREEN phone was in the bottom of the toilet. ughhh. like MAJOR FML. i was soooooo pissed ; it TOTALLY ruined my night. so we let it air out all night, but the screen doesn't work today ; gah. so im out of a phone until daddy gets home like friday when he can take it into the store and see if they will give me a new one. fml much? seriously. soooo.. NOT happy about that.

but today we did some shopping, like all effing day long. i got a cute skirt tho (: and we ate at steak and shake. yummy. and his morning, sheena updated make a pretty memory, and ohhhh lemme tell you. it was HOTT. i mean, almost as hott as last night. pretty darn close. AHHH. i squeeled the whole time reading it. and it TOTALLY made my day. whenever i'd feel bad about my dead phone, i'd think of MAPM and i'd smile (: so ily babe. it helps. and i really suck cause i still haven't reviewd the last chapter of Try me and i haven't like PM'ed or emailed her or sent her a vid so i reallllly suck.

but i found myself asking this question last night.. am i allowed to be happy? cause it seems like everytime something good happens in my life, or something that makes me smile, or makes me happy, or just idk, lifts my mood, is counter-acted by something even worse. it seems to have all started around easter... i had a really great day, and grandma had a good day, and then we found out about mrs. julia.. and then try me FiNALLY got 'there', and then she died. and then, its just a good thing and a WORSE thing happens. ugh. but i am SO thankful that maygen, amy, and taylor have been there for me. no matter when, i've been able to cry/hug/talk to them all.. and i appreciate it SO much. i love you babiessssss<33

sooo.. thats been my life for the past copule days. kinda crazy, eh? thought so. sheena and maygen have been TOTALLY amazing. and i love themmmm<33 and fan fiction. and mark. and hilarie. and chad. and oth. and parker. and maygen. and sheena. and try me. and make a pretty memory. and defining happiness. and making memories of us [more info to come] and in every second of every day. and STORY TIME!

enjoy <3 (:

All Hot Chocolate & 4wheelers &ncsu

so ; i feel REALLY bad. i've made 2 whole posts and have barely mentioned parker. and thats really bad. cause he has my whole heart, and its a pretty much given that i wouldn't get here if it wasn't for him. so. i would like to introduce you to all hot chocolate, aka parker or romeo.

my 2003 brown gelding by chips hot chocolate out of indiana zan par. i got him as a late 2 yo, and i was only going to do the strict western pleasure. but. i made it thru one show, and i was so bored. how i thought i could go from doing EVERY class to just wp i had no idea. so. i was like 'i gotta teach him sms and hms and trail or SOMETHING!" so i went home and started it. he picked up on the HMS really really quickly. but then i had my accident, so everything got paused. for like the whole fall. so, we had a slow start. but. the next spring, things got better. i did an open show, the a/n day at TTC, and the a/n show in colfax, and things were going good. then we had the accident... which screeched our show season to a halting stop. so the next spring we were READY. we did the easter circuit, open show, tarheel triple classic, williamston show, state fair, turkey circuit, and some more that i can't remember, lol. we had an amazing year. and this year started off great. i unfortunatley had to miss the last show [it was this weekend] due to personal reasons, but the a/n show 3 weeks ago went great. we won 5 out of our 7 classes, and were youth high point (: so im most deff for this season to get rollllling. (: we show in 14-18 and Novice Youth Showmanship, Horsemanship, Halter, Trail, Walk/Jog, and Western Pleasure. He means SO much to me. i know i can always go and cry on his shoulder, and he always 'saves' me. his smell can wipe away all the drama that i've experienced, and he keeps me going foward. here is something i wrote a few months ago,

"okay. so i have this AMAZING ride on parker today, after not being ridden for over a week due to rain/crappy ground/lame issues, so i was over the moon at how amazing he was this afternoon. so i go out there tonight to put him up for the night [its been warmer, YAY, so after i feed him i let him stay out till about 10ish when i put him up for the night] so i go out there, and usually hes in front of his stall but hes out in the pasture. no biggie. so i walk out there, and hes standing there [asleep] so anyway i start talking to him [please tell me im not the only one who talks to my horse..] and then my phone starts playing "i could not ask for more/sara evans" after "home/daughtry" and i just hug him... i had a sucky 24 hours, found out some VERY sad news about one of my best friends, cried myself to sleep, had a sucky day, and so i just hug the crap outta him. and as im hugging him, i breathe him in. his sweaty, dusty, dirty smell that can always melt my troubles away. and for those few minutes, its just me and parker, and the soft music in the background. all of my troubles, and all the freaking drama that comes along with being a teenager just melts away. && suddenly im the 6 year old girl who fell in love with a horse, and never looked back. and all those times when i wondered if it was worth it, wondered whyyyyy i was doing what i was doing, wondered if i was making the right choice, it all became worth it. THIS is what i live for. this is what pushes me thru the bad rides, the bad shows, the bad days. knowing im going to have those moments when its just me and him ; against the world. and thats what keeps me going. keeps me pushing thru the crap. the drama. life. those moments, its what makes it all worth it. seeing every star in the sky, in the pasture, just a girl and her horse. and while im hearing those lyrics, "thses are the moments, i thank God that i'm alive, these are the moments, i'll remember all my life" i realize how true they are. if i didn't know in my heart that i had a horse out there who could make it all go away, i don't know what i'd do. its really what keeps me going on. the soft feeling of his muzzle on my skin, the feeling of his breath on the back of my neck as he tries to pull on my clothes. those are the moments i live for.so. i have no idea why i got so sappy and wrote all that, prolly so when i have a sucky ride next week i'll remember why i love him, haha! but anyway. hopefully it can give ya the courage to pull foward, something we can all use these days. i know i can. and now, i feel like i can take on whatever life throws me.. or at least i do now. we'll see about that in a couple days, haha. btw those 2 songs are amazing. while i was listening to "home", i realized that this WAS my home. no matter where i lived, breathing in my horse, being with him, would always be my home <3 href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2285216&op=1&view=all&subj=58733487877&aid=-1&oid=58733487877&id=589403942">

&& here is my 2008 video. the first part is horsey ; and the last part is friends. its really long, haha!

now. for what happened today. i am exausteddddd. omg. so. first off, i had to help clean up the mess where grandma's washer like exploded. loverly. then we got to haul the old one out, and help hook up and BRING the new one in, and get it up the stairs. ugh. so much for laundry being on the 2nd floor a GOOD thing! lol.

then we got to take care of rocky's paw. he's so good about it, yaaaaay!

then i laid out and finished my drawing for maygen, its about dern time! i just have to scan it now, lol.

then hannah, dylan, cody and i all rode 4-wheelers all afternoon. blake couldn't come home this weekend :( but i got to spend some time with cody, which was cool. a funny quote he said after riding with me was, " dang girl! you drive like a, like a ... guy." haha. hannah kept telling me to slow down adn chill out, she had trouble keeping up. lol. so maybe i am a little lead footed.. haha.and. hannah and i rode one 4-wheeler while cody and dylan rode another, and hannah pulled out her ipod while i was driving, and shuffle put on "love like this" by N.B. omg. it was hilarious. so we were SCREAMING the lyrics, and i know dyl and code thought we were insane, ohhhh well. theeeeen, oh em gee, low came on. we were gettttting itttt ; well as much as you can while still drive. then when *I* as driving, a freaking bumblebee ran SMACK into my cheek, and scared the living crap outta me! i screamed, slammed on the breaks, [almost made hannah and dylan run into us] and i was trying to figure out what happened. there's still a dern red mark on my cheek. niiiice one, huh? ugh.

theeeeen we got to fix my barn door. lemme tell ya. that is some kinda anger management. i hammered like a thousand nails into the door, haha. dad was like, "okay jordan that enough!" lol. and we got to fix the handle thingey. ugh. thennnnn supper, and cleaning up, and yeah.

i still smell like my banana boat tanning oil, which can only mean one thing. ITS SUMMER! haha. wooo. so so so so stoked. it was well into the 90s, as far as heat index goes. yay. it was stiffling hott. hannah's grandpa went to the store and got us all ice cream sandwiches and other ice cream stuff, it was sweetttttt. i love ice cream. lol.

i've also been watching the nc state/wake forest game, and its prettttty saweeeetttt! i kinda forgot about the WIDE OPEN throw that riley threw, that was a freaking shoe in for a touch down, ugh. and. owen spencer = butter fingers. daddy wasn't exately thrilled about being reminded about how he *almost* caught 3 amazing throws. ugh. but. i know i coudln't catch them haha so i'm not saying anything... but. roughing the kicker? he!! yeah! lol. our punter is gooood. i hate he left tho :( ugh. this game was saweet. it POURED though. i love poncho's, lol. THEEEEEEN the car battery was dead cause SOMEone *caugh* daddy *caugh* left the tailgate open all freaking day, so in the middle of the pouring rain, we have to get a jump. ugh. but. i'm reminded of how amazing our quarterback is. <3>

pretty long, eh? haha. WOLF-PACK! enjoy (:

its FRiDAY!

so. today is friday. i love friday's (: yesterday, i FiNALLY got to see MORGAN! all the pics above are from our outing (: we went to rue 21, target, and starbucks. yes, it was over 80 degree's and we went to starbucks. anyway. it was so great to see her and hang out with her, i had a BLAST. AND last night i got to TALK to maygen for like 20 minutes. it was great. and then we had major issues with our laptopness lol. but. i loved talking to her. and my upside down carmle something-latte was amazing.

today, there was a benefit for mrs julia... but it was kinda changed to benefit her family. so we went there, and i ended up leaving mom and and comming home. it was so great to see everybody again, and even though there was some tears shed (mostly behind closed doors) everybody seemed to be happy and cheery. since it was at mt. zion church, i was able to see grandma. i hadn't been to see in a while, so it was good to see her. i was able to go out there by myself, so it was nice to just have a convo with her w/o the parentals around. i really miss her... i can't believe its been over 4 years since she died. wow. talk about time going by... but i enjoy our little talks. but it sucks that the cemetary is like an hour away and i've prolly been there like 5 times since the funeral.. but i'm okay with it. i think is kinda like 'out of sight, out of mind' hence why we don't go there. anyway. robert is having some 'issues'. :( its really really sad... but he seemed to be pretty good today. he had a little train of girls following him everywhere he went, haha. but its still so hard to believe that its been 8 days, ya know? its just... :'(

so anyway when i got home, i was kinda in a slump mood, so when i checked my email and i saw that TRY ME was updated, i got estatic. cause it was the chapter after the 'kiss'. so i knew it would be good ; i just didn't know it was going to be THAT good! OMGOMGOMG. it was AMAZING. seriously. i about had a heart attack...AHHH. and just YES! annie/maygen/sheena know what im talking about. so anyway, it made today AMAZING. i re-read it like a THOUSAND times. (: and then annie posted a new chap to her once-oneshot, and it was so cute and fluffy. totally grinable. (: and i was planning on writing while i had some alone time, but dern sheena just HAD to post that chapter ,now i can't even take my eyes off it! but im notttt complaining. and then annie and i had this whole lyric game quote thingey, it was cute. and then i freaked maygen out and i called her and liek SCREAMED "OMGGG TRY ME WAS UPDATEDDDDD" an then she was like "OH **** IM ON A TRAIN. you HAVE to email me the link so i can read it..." she wasn't thrilled that she couldn't read it haha. but its so amazinggggg. im in looooove. yaaaay. and i've been talking to the author of try me alot too, which is really cool. shes way cool, and its really fun to know the person whos writing the stories and all.

on a somewhat better note, rocky seems to be doing OK. he lets us soak his foot for the whole 30 minutes now, and we put up a gate on the back porch so he stays on the deck durring the day, where its shaded by the awning, and then at night we put him in the garage so he's 'inside' and away from the dirt and bugs and all. he seems to be a 'little' better.. and hes still really good about us helping him. he hasn't growled or anything at us. (: but rocky got out this morning in the yard while papa was fixing the gate so mom dragged me outta bed at like 7 am to rub him so he would stay still. while i was in my pink polka-dotted pajama's [which im ready to screw! haha] and my like ginormous teeshirt. adn then she 'had' to take pictures cause it was so cute. never mind i practically slept the whole time i rubbed him, haha.

so i kinda have to decide... ugh. cause tomorrow i could either a) go to the show and possibly see callie and becca, or b) stay here and have amy come over... && im torn. ughhhh. but i dont' really want to go to the show and see those girls, but i really really really want to see taylor and becca. ugh. but i want to have major girl time with amy too. GAH. i hate decisions, lol.

sooooo. thats whats been going on, since, yesterday. wow. lol. craaaazy much? think so. enjoy <3

here we gooooo...

so. here's the first blog. not sure exately how this is ganna go ; but we'll figure it out. these past 2 weeks have been really, REALLY hard. with losing julia, lazlo, mr. singmaster, school, drama, and now the prognosis with rocky, its just been HARD. && i'm ever so thankful for my friends who have been there for me. taylor, maygen, and amy.. you guys have seriously gotten me through. so apparently a Brown Recluse spider bit rocky, and hes NOTTT doing good... we'll see how that pans out.. but im thinking not very good. they said there wasn't really much they could do other than just clean it, which they did, and they gave us medicine and stuff to give him.. and just said good lucky. but they were really sweet, and rocky was SUCH a goodboy :D and ya know the quote, "you don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have", well, i've been kinda doing that lately... && at times, i've surprised myself with the strength that i've had. but other times, i just cry and let the tears fall. so. its most definately been a roller coaster ride.. && yeahhh. but. on a happier note, the red/white game was this past saturday, and after the game they had a 'meet & greet', a.k.a., 'meet your future boyfriends' as maygen and i called it. and i got to meet alotta football players so it was all good, but russel had to leave @ halftime cause of freaking baseball. UGH. i still haven't met him.. :( BUT. talk about saving the best for last ; as we were leaving, i saw #3 and since i'm so amazing with names, dad said that it was curtis underwood, and i was like "awh i want my picture taken with himmmm' so we went down there, and he was so sweet (: and funny and it was just yeah. made me laugh ; something i really needed. so after talking and taking a pic, he ended up taking my hat and my D&G sunglasses and put them on [which was quite hilarious actually] and gave me his HELMENT [chyeuhh] to put on.. so i did.. and he has a small head! or i have a big head or something. but anyway. it was so cute.. my dad was laughing, and yall know my dad. he DOESN'T laugh. but anyway. i got a new phone this past weekend too! yaaay. the motorola KRAVE. be jealous. its pretty sweet. so i'm missing like everybodies phone numbers now though, ugh.

one tree hill FiNALLY came back on monday ; YAAAY! my life can start again. :D it was a really really good, sweet episode. but. only 4 left. i will cry. seroiusly. the next epi is ganna be good, we have a whole flashback stuff with leyton that i'm totally looking foward to :D also, try me was updated lke 4 days in a row, and we *finally* 'got there'! maygen and i FLIPPED out. omg. it was amazing. so, i was so ready for that story to get there, and it finally did :D Life is Beautiful was updated as well, and she wrote a special part, just for me! i really needed it too after this morning. maygs STILL hasn't updated DH, and its killllling me. ugh. shes ganna post my 1S soon, so im so excited. i haven't read it, and shes just given me like 200 words from the begining.. but im okay, cause i want to be completely surprised at how it is. but its going to be amazing, i knowwwwww it. and i can't wait. so im really ready for DH to be over with in that case! but im going to cry when its over, cuz thats what brought us togetherrrrrr. anywayyy.

but i've also found myself listening to ALOT of music lately, and as danielle reminded me, when words fail, music speaks. and it does. i've listened to alot of different stuff, and found strength and comfort in the songs, and its most deff. helped. so there.

welpppp ; idk how this is supposed to go, but anyways. enjoy <33