RIP Grandma <33

yesterday, around 3:30, my grandmother died. it was VERY sudden and very shocking, and we are all still in shock. my papa and mom are taking it VERY hard, as expected. we aren't sure exately what happened, but we didn't find out until around 7:15. I was at church, and my dad &mom were at home, and my dad called me and said that i needed to get home NOW, that something was wrong. so of course i freaked out and asked if him &mom were okay, and he said yeah, we'll tell you when you get home. so i took outta there like a bat outta you-know-where, and when i was about 3 minutes from home my dad called again and said to just drive in at nanny and papa's house. so i said okay. so when i pulled in the driveway, and saw a sherrif's car sitting beside the house, i knew something was MAJORLY wrong. so of course i started to MAJORLY freak out, &i knew that it had to either be papa or grandma, since mom &dad were okay, and when i saw papa at the door holding mom crying, i knew it was grandma. when i was walking up to their house, i heard papa say "she's dead" and thankfully daddy was beside me because i collapsed... so then we had to call her 2 sons [mom's brothers] and tell them, and that was horrible. one of them lives about 45 minutes from here, so he got here about 3 hours later [yeah, thats right. he had to finish eatting out with his FRIENDS before he could come.] and the other one lives in TN, so as soon as he found out, him and his wife and 2 sons took off. they got here about 3-ish AM. grandma's brother &his wife came last night and stayed about 4 hours, which was very nice. uncle barry [grandma's brother] is incharge of the graveyard at the church where she will be burried, and so he will have to mark his own sister's grave... i just can't believe it. but its just such a major shock, i mean, she was getting older and her mind wasn't very good, but just, yeah. mom &dad &papa &uncle david [the one who lives in TN. the OTHER brother had to preach a funeral today so he coudln't go] just left to go to the funeral home to make arrangements &all. last night was very very hard, i dont' think my mom got ANY sleep at all, and i got a few hours b/w 2am-8am. we stayed over at papa's house until about 12, then daddy and i came home [i'm SO glad we live beside each other!] and changed clothes, and i took mom her contact stuff back over there b/c she said she was going to stay there a little while longer, and when i got back home daddy said he was going back over there, so i took my shower and laid down, but all i did was toss &turn. about 2am mom &dad came home to get somebodies number, but they couldn't find it. so then we all got in mom &dad's king sized bed, lol, and just kinda laid there. i think the last time i looked at the clock it was about 2:45, and then at 8 the funeral home called, and made an appt. for everybody to go up there and make the plans &all, and then other people started calling &all so we just went ahead and got up. so i guess i did get about 5 hours sleep, but it sure doesnt' feel like it, lol. i feel like i've been run over by one of those paving machienes with the big rollers, lol. &extremely numb at hte same time. aaaand my head is KILLING me, but i expected that. as i have found out from the LAST time someone close to us died, when i get extremely upset, i hyperventalate while crying &then i just kinda go beserk, &yeah. but i was able to get in touch with my 2 best friends, amy &danielle P., &they were extrememly nice and so helpful to me last night.

so just please keep my family in your prayers, my mom &papa are taking it extremely hard, as expected. thank you so much <33

p.s. i started to write this last night, but i coudln't finish, so i finished writing it today and i changed all the 'today's' to 'yesterday's' and stuff.. i think i'm still in shock, even though its completely 'hit' me, i still expect her to be here, ya know. ohhhhh mannnn... but. FYI, horses are the best to hug &cry on, lol.