hmm. I don't know what to say too much. I'm just dissapointed in people. but only certain people. and not because of something they did, but because of what they didn't do. which seems to be the case with me mostly. but i've also been surprised by certain people. ever since grandma died, it seems like the people i expected most to be there for me.. kinda, 'left'. not physically, just, aren't very supportive. they never ask how i am, is there anything they can do, or offer to lend an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. and those are the people i would have thought that would have offered it most. and it hurts. just.. its as if those people don't care. i know they do, and they probably don't even realize it, but.. it still hurts to think that they don't care enough to think about how its effecting me.
but maybe they do think about it, and just don't know how to talk about it. which i understand. but, i just wish they'd TELL me that. that the're uncomfy talking about suicide, or that they don't know what to say, or that i'm in their thoughts & prayers.
and then, the people that i thought would have never in a million years would have stepped up like they did, have. i would have never thought that i would be telling this person all the stuff i do. or that they'd have so much insight.
but, there is just people that haven't done ANYTHING. nothing. and it completely blew (and still does) me away. and when i make vauge refrences to it, they never say anything about it. just say 'oh okay' and go on, or make a joke about it, and never think twice.
out of all the stuff that happened since may 31st, what i've seen in these peope have surprised me the most.
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